As I continued to 'try and make it work' I decided I needed just to stop, take some time and honestly assess what was going on.
I remember sitting on my sofa listening to a YouTube video by Esther Hicks, and she kept on repeating, "Only focus on what you want. Only focus on what you want."
She said that 'we spend so much time talking and complaining about the things that are going wrong in our lives... That doing this only ever creates more of the same unwanted situation.'
I had literally been doing this exact thing.
I'd been worrying about whether I'd be able to provide everything, worried about the little things that were going wrong and focusing on needing everything rather than having everything...
Recommitted to my dreams, I decided to follow her advice and switch my focus...
The problem was that my brain felt foggy, confused and in all honesty back then, I couldn't even seem to access the part of me that knew what I wanted anymore!
Even though I was 100% clear on what I didn't want, I suddenly realised I had no idea what I actually did want!
It was like another lightbulb went off in my head!
After working with the Laws of the Universe for years, I knew how vital crystal clear intentions are to achieving success...
Yet, I found myself without crystal clear clarity about what it was I wanted to create?
You can't achieve your dreams if you don't even know what they are!
Without this clarity, I could only ever focus on the things that were going wrong and therefore, attract more of what I didn't want to experience.
I knew that nothing I could ever request from the Universe would be too big an ask.
Still, in order to be successful, I had to first clear my mind of any chaos, clutter and confusion.
If I felt stressed, overwhelmed or unsure, I wouldn't be in the right space to align my thoughts and intentions clearly with what I wanted to create.
Without first developing crystal clear clarity about my goals and desires, I would always be sending out conflicting messages to the Universe...
Chances are it would end up being more confused than I was!